First love, fierce love.

One week before our son left for college, we had a discussion in his room.  As long as I live, the magnitude of this conversation, will be remembered.  He had taken a risk in our home, that could have easily resulted in a fire.  We discussed extensively, how choices in life affect everyone in our family, not just one person.  I imagine, parents around the globe, have had similar circumstances.  There was no doubt our son understood this.  

His argument still resonates in my mind. “Mom!  Do you know how many people make bad choices everyday that are not affected? You worry too much!”  I countered with truth, “I love you SO MUCH!  I NEVER want anything to happen to you or our family!  Please heed these words!”  He responded, “I KNOW you love me!  You love me SO much that YOU ARE SMOTHERING ME!”  I laughed and declared, “If love is the worst thing I am convicted of in this life, then SO BE IT!”  

The words he spoke next, drove deep, sorrowful thoughts in my mind.  “Mom!  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SLIM THE CHANCES ARE OF ANYTHING HAPPENING TO ME?!”  My reply enveloped fierce love,  “YOU hold MY HEART in YOUR hands and I am NOT willing to let you CARELESSLY toss it about…EVEN WORSE, it be UNINTENTIONALLY CRUSHED!  I am CERTAIN I would DIE, if anything happened to YOU!” 

He flashed that boyish grin and assured me that fear would get me nowhere. He was correct. Nine weeks later, at college, he was hit by a car, crossing the street and died before we could reach him.  

Not long after his funeral, I realized that I had given my full heart, over to our children, at birth.  Oh! How love overwhelms us, as we cradle our babies!  They are certainly a gift from God.  It is an honor bestowed by Him ~ for Him, that we nurture, love, and raise up our children. 

It shook me to the core, that I TRULY BELIEVED, OUR children were GIVEN to US for eternity!  Dear friends, our children do not belong to us! They belong to God and are a gift for a short while, on this earth. The thought of living longer than our children, is normally absent from our minds, unless we have endured such horrific loss.  

People disappoint, as our human sin continues to spiral downward. UNDERSTANDING, we ARE ALL sinners…WHY would we allow our hearts to love ANYONE  above GOD?  Do we REALIZE the PRESSURE, we put on OTHERS, when we state that THEY hold OUR hearts?!  

Parents, that can no longer converse with their child, encompass a multitude of memories with question marks blaring.  Placing our love in Faith alone, through Grace alone, in Christ alone, is where our hearts were meant to beat and our minds, fully retreat!  

In today’s world, we are encouraged to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, because we are strong and can do that – right?! What will be the outcome of telling someone that has lost a loved one, to depend on their own strength to push through?  Time and time again, devastation arrives when we cannot accomplish recovery, without understanding that God is truly sovereign.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33.

Peace & Blessings!

MamaC

Noted change: Thank you for moving with me from: Lookupbehappy.com too: Goodmourningmama.com. Will you join me in prayer for the words placed on my heart, to lift and encourage all they are meant for? Please consider “liking” Good Mourning Mama Facebook page or subscribing to follow this blog. I appreciate your continued love and support! MamaC