Do you believe?
As I was in labor with our first child, I looked up at my husband and said, “I can’t do this!” He smiled and said, “Well, I believe you have no other options and I KNOW you CAN!” By the grace of God, WE did and he was born.
Nineteen years later, on the day of our son’s visitation I couldn’t breathe. My body was swollen with grief and shock. We were frantically looking for clothing that we picked up from college the day before. The funeral home needed them. As my husband left to deliver these items, I fell to my knees and pleaded with God. “Father! I CAN”T DO THIS!” I prayed that it was all a nightmare and that He would take it away. I wished I had that remote in the movie “Click” to rewind the past several days. As I sobbed, I called our pastor for help. He said he would be over soon. I continued pleading with God. “WHY?!” Suddenly my pleads became bargains. If ONLY you get me through this I will give glory to you, in every way possible! Desperate for strength and answers, as if God were to be bargained with…
I wondered how I would make it through the day. Surely God did not hear me. Even if He did, how would He answer me? Our son was already gone. There was no turning back. Suddenly as I reached the top of the stairs, to wake our children, my chest opened up and I could breathe! An unexpected calmness came over me. In a new shock, I looked up and spoke out loud, “THANK YOU!” There was NO explanation of a peace in this midst of such crises, except answered prayer. My phone rang and it was our pastor letting me know he was on his way. My response, “I’m okay. I prayed. He answered.” Through loss, He has opened my eyes.
There has been loss in abundance lately. Loss changes people. We all see anger and hatred spewing. Do you see the good coming out of tragedies? Bad things happen. Sin is real. Free-will is ours. Do you turn to yourself to find hope in this darkness? Do you blame God?
In this country, we are currently blessed with a gift called freedom. What people choose to do with these freedoms, may determine our fate. We also have a choice on our responses. Do we lift up and help, or do we drive hatred deeper with our actions? No matter who you are or what your circumstances, YOU have the ability to lift up…or not.
Last night, I saw a young man posting on social media, about his faith in God. He asked that during these times of tribulation we should look to God, in John 16:33. Conversely, I saw many expressing their own views against christianity.
After we lost our son, I was hit with the realization, of how little control we truly have. God HAS answered prayer in my life. Did He give me my son back? No. Did I pray for that? Yes. Does God simply give us what we pray for when we ask? We must remember it is HIS will not ours. For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7
I am grateful to have recently received this from a friend. Wisdom from her Mother, Myrna Conrad.
“Jesus wept.” John 11:35 Jesus wept is the shortest verse in the bible, yet those two words express so much about our Lord. Jesus had waited three days to go to Mary and Martha when their brother died. He loved this family very much and even though He knew He would bring Lazarus back to life, He wept over the sorrow that sin and death brings to those He loves. He cares so much about every pain, hurt or sorrow we experience. None of our tears go unnoticed. His heart hurts with our heart, even when He knows that He will work something amazing through our situations, IF we let Him. Martha could have said, “Jesus, if you didn’t care enough to be here before he died, then just leave. There is nothing you can do here now.” But she didn’t. Even in her grief and sorrow she trusted Jesus and she got to see Him do the unthinkable! (This bible story can be found in John 11:1-44)
Always, but especially during loss…each morning, before you pick up your phone or turn on the news, think of what you are grateful for, give thanks and see how it can influence your attitude on the day.
Peace & Blessings,
MamaC
Photo: Our daughter Claire. Homecoming, October 2015.
