October forgiveness…
Fall has always been my favorite time of year. We have three family birthdays in October. In 2014, we had three birthdays and a funeral. No one expected the funeral. Truth is, that with all the beauty of fall leaves in October, we are now filled with anxiety. Trauma sneaks in our unsuspecting days and crashes harsh memories into our minds. As much as we try to forget, our subconscious works in mysterious ways.
We have always taught our children to “do unto others as you would have done unto you.” Recently, a friend suggested that everyone is different and may not want to be treated the way you or I would want. That is likely truth. What we should say is…”Do unto others as Christ has done unto you.”
Last week, a friend shared with me that it was not others shortcomings that were the real issues angering us. It was our own selfish ways that lead us to not have patience or give others grace when it’s most needed. Mama says…pointing at others, always leaves three fingers pointing back at you! At times, forgiveness was meant to forgive, yet not forget. This was to let people know that they had a grace pass, but that trust in the future would be limited. Thank goodness God did not limit his forgiveness with us!
When our son was hit and killed by a car, crossing the street, at age 19, we had MUCH to forgive. The driver, frat mates, new friends, police, coroner, attorneys, insurance agents, and even our son needed grace, from us. Accidents happen. Choosing to acknowledge and forgive people that may have wronged you, or someone you love, is no easy task. In today’s world we hear angry words demanding that we be “paid back” for what was taken from us. The “I’ll get even” doesn’t really make anything “even.” In death, none of these “pay backs” can bring your loved one back to life.
By God’s grace we knew we would not survive holding onto anger and bitterness. Nor would our son have desired that for our lives. He was always reminding us to “let it go.” WOW! How does anyone forgive all that went wrong through human error? Faith, through a forgiving Father.
No amount of gold could fill the void in our hearts from the loss of our son. Blaming won’t bring him back. It was said today, anger is not getting what you want. How true! We wanted to outlive our child. We wanted to see him grow and have a family of his own. Yet, who knows more of giving up a son than He? He who showed grace and mercy to us through His son Jesus. His Son, whom He watched die on a cross, to grant US eternal life. That same promise of life that gives us hope in being together again, with our loved ones in heaven. Forgiving us, not because we deserved it, but because His LOVE is greater than all things. Ask God to help you give grace to others and truly forgive them. While you are at it, forgive yourself! Be grateful for our undue forgiveness in Christ!
Let go of the bitterness in your heart and remember what is truly important in life. It’s not who wins a game, how well someone does on a test, what things you can purchase or someone living up to your expectations. It’s about giving love and unearned forgiveness. In this month of October, set a growth goal to forgive someone. If you’d like, do this in memory of our son, Connor. He would love that you “let it go!”
Peace & Blessings,
MamaC
Psalm 116:1-2, “I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”
