Christmas light…

A Mother’s prayer….Dear Father,

Thank you for Christmas, the birth of your only son for which I am eternally grateful. Today is the third Christmas since our son left this earth, to live with you in heaven. This mother’s heart is broken. No matter how I try to distract myself or how much time passes, there are days like today that I am overcome with grief. In a home where his laughter filled the air and his smile shined brightly through continuous joking or singing, I don’t feel well.  Code for:  I can’t breath today due to missing my son. I have been blessed with a beautiful family, career that I love and yet nothing can fill the void of missing my first born child. The gaping hole is deep.

It seems as I age, death is all around. I could spend my entire days praying for healing or peace for so many people. As a Mother, questions are hurled at me by the minute. Questions that used to be no problem, somehow have me looking up and wondering, do they even realize how hard this is for me anymore? I can’t even process them all, when I used to juggle ten or more at a time with a smile. Oh how I wish I was carefree and without this heavy grief that so many carry. There were somedays that I wondered if hell was here on earth. Then you gave me the opportunity to visit a third world country and show me how blessed I truly am, here in the USA. Please be with all the military that keep our country safe and free.

I listen to people talk about each of their children getting the same number of presents on Christmas and how things need to be fair…and cringe. Maybe it’s just my age, my experience, maybe I have become seasoned. Any of these may be true, yet Christmas is not about presents at all. It is about YOU sending your only son, our gift, to be born on this day. Knowing one day You will watch him tortured and left to die on a cross. All this to save us from our sins and grant us eternal life in heaven, for those that believe. When I write about You people don’t tend to “like” what I write near as much as when I am just being fun. I wonder if they realize that death is not fun, nor is eternal loss. As much as my suffering on days like today seem, it is nothing in comparison to what my life would be thinking I would never see my son again. I have hope in You oh Lord. I pray on this day, that just one person’s heart is touched and eyes be opened, to how grateful we should be on this birthday of your Son Jesus Christ. Thank you for sacrificing your son, so that mine could be saved. There is an urgency in a Mother that has lost a child, wondering if they will ever see them again.  I pray for love and peace for all those ill or grieving this Christmas season.

Amen.

Just “believe” does not mean santa.

Merry Christmas,  MamaC

I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46