We keep this love in a photograph…
The day of our son’s funeral was surreal. His death was unexpected. A tragic accident. During the planning of the funeral and all of the chaos my mind was numb. I looked to those around us for help planning a funeral, choosing flowers, writing an obituary, for our 19-year-old son that was thriving his first nine weeks of college. I had spoken to him only hours before. The last thing I had on my mind was photographs. Jill Heupel took Connor’s senior pictures just one a short year before. I never knew those were going to be the final pictures we had of our son. An unexpected call came from Jill asking if we might consider her capturing moments at our son’s funeral. At first I didn’t know what to say. I’d never heard of a photographer at a funeral. She offered up that we could always discard them if we wanted or never even look at them. In those few brief moments after losing our son, we realized we would never have another chance for many things with him. We asked her to please come and photograph. There were over 1200 people at our son’s visitation. The church was packed before we even arrived the day of the funeral. There were things laid out that we had put together in his memory. Everyone else saw them, but I couldn’t remember. There were interactions with our family, with our other children, with Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents. Moments I would have never known happened if it were not for Jill’s camera. It took us several months to look at them. She sent the link and told us it was there when we were ready. It was three months later when when my husband and I found the courage to look at the photos. We were shocked at all that we had missed. It wasn’t looking at the loss that we endured, as we endure that daily. It was the people and the love surrounding us that we never would have remembered, quite like seeing it. We knew there were friends and family that we had not seen in years. We were humbled by people that came from miles away to pay their respects. The pictures that Jill took greatly impacted our memory of a day filled with grief and sorrow and turned it into a beautiful memory of love, respect and friendship. As time has passed these last 18 months and the pain has changed. I look back and remember the sadness yet am grateful for realizing all the love that surrounded us that day and continues today. If I had a choice I’d rather not have the funeral but the choice of the photographs is one I will not regret. Thank you Jill, for thinking for us and helping us remember all the good in such a day. ? Look up, be happy, smile for what was and what is to be….MamaC
You make known to me the path of life; and you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11
