Growing pains…

In this ocean of grief, there are days I feel pulled under water. Days that everything I hear or see reminds me of him. Most things that only I would know. The mention of the name of a movie that the guy that hit him, went to see…just before. The song on the radio he loved.  Wait…did he know that song or was it after he left? Flashing lights of an accident and the sound of a helicopter overhead. Hearing others stress about a topic that sincerely is an issue, yet maybe not illness, life or death. Seeing something in a store, you know he would have loved, and buying it anyway.  People so deeply absorbed in their work, that it keeps them from seeing what awesome accomplishments their kids are experiencing…without them.  Watching people cross the street all over the place. Simple, but knowing the man that hit your son, walked away without so much as a ticket…because he wasn’t in a cross walk.  My heart releasing issues because I know he would say, “let it go Mom, it’s okay.”  Engrossed in an article, only to see the words…He gave you life, don’t waste it, in the end paragraph.  Grief triggers daily, some more than others.  I feel like I’m in a different world. Without a doubt, as much as loss hurts, I would not want to retreat back from the way I see today.

MamaC

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.  1 Corinthians 3:7