A Heavenly birthday…

I have been thinking I would not be able to make it through this day.  The past two weeks leading up to today have been hard to breathe through.  I’ve been edgy, sad and fearful.  How would I handle the day that I made into a national holiday these past 20 years without you?  Birthday’s have always been a big deal to me.  I love them as much as I love you.  Celebrating life was always a momentous occasion, especially with you.

You always remembered to thank me, gave me huge hugs and a smile that melted hearts.  Your kindness was sincere and you always looked out for others.  It was your mission to make us all laugh and be happy.  You are unrepeatable.  You were an original.  There was happiness about you that was all your own…I miss you sweet boy.

Today, God blessed our family with friends.  Your friends, our friends and family that gathered together to lift us up in celebration of your life.  Chosen to Shine announced a sand volleyball tournament beginning at noon today.  It was the last thing I wanted to do…I got in your car, turned up the music, opened the sunroof and pushed myself to the park.  Twenty six of your friends, not including our family and friends were there cooking burgers, playing volleyball, laughing, and listening to music.  A few friends shared memories of you, some that were new to me.  Even in my sadness I felt so overwhelmingly blessed.  Out of nowhere on a beautiful sunny day your brother Calvin ran over to show me the rainbow in the sky.  I am forever grateful for all that has been given to me through you.  We do keep looking up, because wherever we are, there always seem to be rainbows.

We had dinner with good friends and were gifted tickets to Beauty and the Beast.  We were in the great outdoors all evening.  There was a full moon and the sky was beautiful.  You would have loved today here on earth.  I can only imagine your birthday in Heaven.

We have certainly had heavy hearts here without you.  I have never felt so much grief on a birthday, yet God’s plan for us was to celebrate you.  Your big heart that touched so many, continues to bless us through your friends and our family.  Thank you to everyone that helped us through today.  Happy 20th Birthday Connor!  Nothing can separate you from my love…

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that in in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39