Good Mourning Hope Behind Trauma and the Holiday Door.

‘Tis the season for families to joyfully gather round the table. Yet, there are parents reluctantly opening their eyes in a fog, wondering how they will breathe or how their heart will keep beating, as the holiday season arrives without their child.

We are parents of child loss. A loss so horrific there is no formal name to describe it. Death unexpectedly knocked on our door, shoving us from the life we knew into relentless upheaval.

Facing the holidays after child loss is a daunting, unfathomable task, even with an open door that others expect us to glide through. We would like to close discussions about unruly relatives, recipes and post turkey plans. However, we smile and stir the gravy.

Know that we may not accept your holiday invitations due to our fragile heart and unexpected flow of tears. We appreciate the offer and know you are trying to help. Please do not be offended. We are in uncharted territory. At times we may need to be alone to process our new normal. Trust us with our grief.

Understand that exhaustion frequently invades our thoughts. Prayers are appreciated as we run through the why and what if’s in our mind, knowing the answers will not change the outcome, as we mash potatoes.

When we witness complaints, our patience is short. Our priorities of thankfulness are renewed to a higher level of understanding. We see other’s moving on with their life while ours seems to be standing still. At times, we feel left behind in a dark room while you are dancing in the light. We find ourselves reconsidering life long relationships through the eyes of grief. Would you please pass the bread?

Say their name, tell the story. You are reminding us of their life, not their death. We’ve got that. We will forever be their parent and cherish all memories. Pumpkin pie anyone?

Although we walk by faith, it continues to be a journey of uneven ground. We do not always know what is behind the door and that is okay. If by chance it is a sleeping child, cranky teen, college student or adult relatives – cherish them, hug them and be thankful for closed doors!

Peace & Blessings,

MamaC

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

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