IS God Good With A Powerful NO?

Is God Good? Daily I hear how God is Good, in the context of:  I am blessed because God gave me what I prayed for.  

A family praying for a child was told the baby had health issues and may not live.  Now, they are blessed with a healthy child.  God is GOOD.  

A love one addicted to drugs.  Their family with little sleep and overwhelmed with worry, finds treatment and recovery.  God is GOOD.

A diagnosis with no cure is given where miraculous, unexpected, recovery occurs.  They praise His name in thanksgiving.  God is GOOD.  

A horrific car accident and the occupants walk away with only a scratch.  Today, some say they are lucky, some say blessed.  God is GOOD.

But wait…if He is good, then why would He allow bad things to happen?  What did we do to deserve such pain?  Why the powerful NO, to us Lord? 

Dear friends – God is Good, even when He doesn’t answer our hearts desire with a child, healing, cure, or even when death steals life.   

When two unexpected children came into our lives from foster care, I had the words:  “Walk by Faith” emblazoned upon my foot.  Little did I know how difficult it would be to parent two traumatized children.  I had envisioned our new, larger family with sugar plums in my head.  The words on my foot were to remind me each day as I stepped to the floor, who was in charge.  Yet, I insisted on my way.

The next four years, I spent endless nights reading our oldest son’s texts, to stay on top of any shenanigans he may have been up to.  They seemed to be endless at one point.  I slept less during his teen years than when he was a baby.  ALL for control of keeping things “in check” and “on the right track.”  He was an outgoing, smart, good, and a little too much – adventurous kid.  Worry, worry, worry, overtook life.  

When the call of the accident came, I NEVER thought to pray.  The only thing I did was move into action.  What could I do to get to him.  How could I handle the information and questions coming in.  I never thought to pray, because I arrogantly thought I, had the answers.    

Praying mightily before the visitation, falling apart, knowing I did NOT have anymore answers, I felt God.  He had not answered prayers to bring our son back to life.  He answered with an unexplainable peace moving through that day and the next.  There was no logic in this peace, just God.  

Over the next year, I found myself crazed with regret, missed opportunities of time together, wondering what we had done to deserve such loss.  What could have been done to change the outcome?  I STILL believed God gave me the responsibility of life and death.  There HAD to be something I could have done.  Well, there was… 

Six years have now passed.  Six years I never thought I’d make it through.  Six years where many times I prayed to join him.  Six years since the death of the life we dreamt would be.  Six years since the death of the person I was. Six years CLOSER to who God meant for me to become.

Three years ago our 17 year old son spoke these raw, faith-filled words:  “Mom, have you ever considered that Connor’s purpose was fulfilled?”  I was livid.  Of course not!  He was only 19!  How could his purpose be fulfilled?  His clear, honest words hurt and made me think at the same time.  

Each week I attended church with our family.  Each week I listened, spoke prayers and had the responses memorized.  I was walking through the motions of church.  I did NOT have a true relationship with Christ.  However, when our son died, I knew HOW to pray and WHO to pray too.  I begged HIM for mercy to help me, explaining that there was NO way I could get through this devastating loss.  He knew better.

His plan was not my plan.  He owes me nothing and blesses me fully, with grace and mercy.  Death opened my eyes to His glory.  Our family has realized the importance of time, love, friendship and faith.  Our children, family and friends will forever remember their brother and the impact he had on their lives.  We are thankful for Jesus and eternal life through Him.

What could I have done?  Pray, praise and give thanks always, in every circumstance.  God blessed our lives with our son.  It was not as long as we had imagined or desired, but he blessed us with his presence.  (What a presence it was!)  He will forever be a part of us, a part of our hearts and in our minds.  He was a gift and for that we are thankful.  

Each day as you wake, remember this:  God loves you and has a purpose for your life.  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29: 11 – Wherever that future may be, it is in His hands. 

Today may be the last day of our lives.  He gave you life, don’t waste it.  Look Up to Him.  He gives us the strength we need, when we need it, IF we ask.  Talk with Him.  Every. Single. Moment.   

Dear friends, God is Good, even when bad things happen.  

Peace & Blessings on your journey,

MamaC

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13. 

Photo: Our daughter Claire, in honor of her brother – 2015.