A little R & R ~ restoring relationships.
Our attitudes determine our future. The circumstances and people placed in our lives do not. God has called us to settle our differences with each other. We have all had relationships were we have felt betrayed, hurt and angry. A false sense that there will always be a tomorrow to forgive, lingers. The power of control we feel in holding forgiveness back only turns us bitter. Loss tears pride down to reality.
Lifting problems in prayer is a positive power in resolving conflict. It has been known to issue a change of heart. Before the loss of our child, praying was done in church on Sundays, at meals, before sleep and certainly for the desires of our hearts. It takes intentional time to give thanks in all circumstances. There have been moments, people and memories that scream anger towards loss. Shouting does not make one stronger. It releases negative energy onto those surrounding us.
Have you ever found words exiting your mouth and instantaneously realizing that God’s desire is for US to hear our OWN words and heed them? Do you believe this is by chance? Unmet needs exactly defines loss. Most conflict occurs from needs not being met. There is no one on this earth that can replace another. When we expect ANYONE to fulfill our needs such as a spouse, family member, friend, co-worker or boss we set ourselves up for disappointment. Over time this turns into bitterness that can destroy lives. Instead of “Looking Up” to God in prayer, we look to others or things to make us happy. Our loved ones may say, why did you not come to us for help first? God, our Father is saying the same.
Ignore it and it will go away. I’ll get around to it someday. Death speaks that we may not have SOMEDAY. During times of delayed communication, resentment deepens. In conflict, time heals nothing. An infected wound festers. In life we are taught to “focus on the facts.” In forgiveness we should focus on feelings. Sympathy versus solutions opens hearts. Hearing someone speak does not mean we agree with the feelings, just that we listen. Feelings are not always truth. Memories may not be accurate. By God’s design we have two ears, one mouth. For those I love I will sacrifice. We may not love or even like the person we were offended by. A 360 view tells us there are others that DO love our offender. Resentment brings foolishness. Forgiveness brings powerful peace. When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Psalm 73:21-22.
It is a sacrifice to endure the wrath of anger in others. People do not care what we know ~ until they know we care. Jesus hung on the cross to die for our sins that He did not commit. In a home with many people, blame came daily. It was said that if you point your finger at another there are three pointing back at you. One child asked why another was pointing with their entire hand. Well you see, this child had figured out how NOT to take any of the blame. As explained in Matthew 7:5: You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. These words apply to us all. We must confess our part in the conflict. Seeking forgiveness diffuses volatile energies.
In times of loss, taking the initiative to forgive, may stretch us far beyond our imagination. It wasn’t MY fault, why should I forgive? If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8. It takes character to accept responsibility and ask for forgiveness. Leaders own it, even when it’s not theirs to own. The blame game kindles fire. How you speak is AS important as what you speak. You are never persuasive while abrasive. In our home hung these words ~ the most untamed animals den, lies just behind the teeth. This is most certainly true.
Peace always comes with a price tag, yet so does discord. The price for peace gains respect. We can reconcile without resolution. We can disagree without being disagreeable. We can walk arm in arm without seeing eye to eye. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Most of us have had unexpected losses in this life. Live with an attitude of gratitude. The choices we make in life always affect respect. Choose to shine.
Peace & Blessings,
MamaC
