New beginnings…
Cornerstone Cravings represents a new start with all the wonderful things in my life. The initials are familiar to my children. The stars, my blessings, are what gives me adventure in life. The Cornerstone in my life, is Christ. The Cravings are real, for life here, in heaven…and for ice cream on earth. 😀 This year as I venture into my own business, as an ice cream broker, I pray for peace, success and opportunity to pay it forward in all that I do.
Today, I find myself on a business trip with a group of friendly people, mostly from the South. A dinner in a scenic deck with mountains all around and a beautiful sunset. I listen as they talk fondly of their children in college or even their grandchildren. The pain is real as I try to have conversation without bringing up my own loss. I love to hear of children thriving in college and living life as they should. To be in the zone with loss and also trying to fit in with those that have no understanding of the deep grief I’ve experienced, is surreal. Adding myself to the conversation, I mention that my son did well on his ACT and received a scholarship for school. I do not mention that he is no longer here. I am unusally quiet, where before, I would have had many a story to tell. I move through life doing what I know, yet still numb, as expected.
As everyone else that knew our son, goes back to their own lives, I struggle. Our lives will never be the same. Grief is not just a shadow covering light. It is darkness that can overtake you. It is a pain that flows from deep within. It is something that I will never be over, only through. It is a mystery to me, how anyone could survive this path, without faith. I am grateful for all the words I’ve read and heard in my life about Christ and eternal life. Looking up each day, makes me wonder how anyone could believe, that the beauty of the sunsets or the stars, just came to be. Grasping how deeply lost I would feel, if I did not believe in our Savior, paralyzes me.
Each time I cry out in pain, there is a song, a verse, a person, a light that makes me stop and think I am here for a reason. I believe we are all here for a greater purpose. I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, ice cream peddler and follower of Christ. I was only born one of these, but I know I was chosen to shine. I am fighting each day, to get back to the light that I see ahead. May all our lives be to walk in His light, lean on our Cornerstone, be of service to others and enjoy some ice cream along the way.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9
For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. Psalm 18:28
Peace & Blessings!
MamaC
Thinking of you. I will never forget him or the joyful Lauri I met years ago. You are still in there. Take care sweetie. You’re getting there.
Thank you Amy! 😀