Storms of grief…

Too many know this journey called grief.  Just as we think the storm is passing, another alarm sounds.  Wait, what did that announcement say?  I think it said to take cover!  In grief there is no basement, just eternal floods of tears.  Sorrow without faith is hopeless.  We walk by faith, knowing that God meets us in our distress and walks us through the storm, so that someday we may shine.  It is possible to grieve and still believe.

I’m here with all those who love you, living the best I can.  You are everywhere I am, everyplace I look, in songs, in laughter, in my heart.  Each day as I wake, I have to stop and think, why haven’t I seen you, hugged you, or heard you?  Why does my heart hurt so…even as my eyes open?  With  each moment that passes in confusion, reality sets back crashing into grief.  Oh yes, I remember, and oh, how I wish I didn’t.  Yet, I put on a smile as I know you would want.  I fall to my knees in prayer and trudge onward as He lifts me up.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.  Psalm 143:8

People sometimes look awkward, as I speak about you now.  Not where you are today, but the loss of dreams you had, we shared, tearing apart my heart.  It takes all my faith as I think, if only I was there that night, to be right by your side.  However, deep in my soul I know, you were not alone, for God was holding you.

We were so similar, the good, the bad, the kindred hearts.  People don’t get that I now have broken parts.  My tolerance of complaints and excuses are thin.  Being surrounded by “real” and truth is painfully necessary.  Life is so different, it will never be the same.  Learning to live without you, is learning to live with pain.  I’m thankful most others don’t understand, how exhausting grief can be.  I find myself in a lonely place, sorely missing the one like me.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

I have hope for better days…in God’s time.  I talk to God as I know he, above all, understands this grief of mine.  He understands even the most acidic emotions spilled out in his direction.  I tell God what I feel and know that he accepts me, a sinner, just as I am.  Thankfully I know that storms do pass and the sun will shine again.

Be true to yourself, true to your grief, true to God and may you find peace.  MamaC

Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.  Jeremiah 31:13