Crossroads…

Yesterday God blessed me with time spent sharing grief and loss with women that I have been gifted with in this time of mourning.  Women that know only too well how huge a loss of a loved one, can bring you too your knees.  Strong women of faith that can lean on each other to remind us, that through God all things are possible.

Each loss is different, yes devastatingly the same.  Whether you have lost a spouse, a child, a nephew or niece, a grandchild or a friend, there comes a time of realization that they are not coming back.  I keep reading, “sometimes your heart needs a little more time to accept what your mind already knows.”  I believe this to be true.  Each person has to acknowledge their tragedy in their own time and place.  This is a journey I never wanted to be on, yet here I am.  Each of us has a choice when faced with difficult circumstances.  I remember the light in my son’s eyes each day.  He would want me to look up, be happy and do good in this life.

As Mothers we strive to keep our family together, to help our children through this exhausting grieving process, along with ourselves.  A part of us all has been suddenly extracted from our lives.  I feel as though part of my heart and soul has been ripped away from me without warning.  My misguided thoughts of control in my life and the lives of my children have been lifted from me.  Now I look with new eyes as I see so many, believing they are in control.  I can’t help but give a thankful smile, that I was reminded so abruptly, how He is the only one in control.  All of us that met are mothers.  We work to keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus to guide us through the responsibility given to us, to be strong in faith and let Him lift our families up in this time of grief.

I am thankful to have had my son for a short time than not to have had him at all.  Anyone would have been blessed to be Connor’s mother, but I was chosen.  God’s grace and mercy helps me to overcome my sorrow.  His promise of eternal life, which Connor knew, is my hope and salvation.

Connor loved doing good for others.  In his last assignment for college he wrote:  “I want to make a difference in peoples lives.  I want to help as many as I can to fix their bad days.  I am only just beginning to open my eyes.  I cannot fathom what is in store for this boy from Southern Illinois.”  We never know what is in store for us.  I share this with you today, so that you may remember the following:

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  Ecclesiastes 3:12

Peace & Blessing for you this day!  MamaC