When nothing makes sense.
We hear “God is good” when outcomes are as we desire. Dear friends…God is PRESENT and GOOD, EVEN when bad things happen. Four years and forty days from this photo taken in 2010, our party of seven was tragically and unexpectedly reduced to six. Never in my life did I imagine losing a child. Never did…
Dear Henry
One evening last week my husband and I received a text from our daughter. Our phones simultaneously alerted us just after 9pm. We read the words: I’ve been in an accident. I’m sorry. Time rewound for a moment, as I stood motionless at the kitchen sink. My husband promptly responded to her, “are you…
Mama Grief
Forgot what joy was, it all but tore. Poured my soul, to the child no more. Exhausted in trying to make it right. Feels like life is always a fight. Remembering back to better days When life was not a constant haze. They say true love is never lost. Our savior, already paid the cost.…
Sprouts Of Hope
Are you feeling like a tree that was once standing tall, now ravaged by high winds and storms? I was desperately struggling with grief after the sudden unexpected loss of our 19 year old son. I was raised in the church and believed I was a Christian. There were tests of faith over…
What is YOUR story?
36 years ago – if you would have told me that I would survive a suicide attempt, I would have said, that’s not my story. 26 years ago – if you would have told me I’d be divorcing the man I dated for five years, after one year of marriage, I would say that’s not…
Morning is not the same without “u”.
Sleep departed life, the same night as our son. The crazy hours of wake lasted nearly three years. Rest was ultimately gifted through prayer and a weighted blanket. The blanket was the necessary pressure of a hug, as if tangible peace had covered me. Loss brings clouds to ground level, where we arise in…
Who are you missing this holiday season?
As we bring out the Christmas decorations, I see our son’s smiling face on oodles of ornaments made over the years. Each of our children hang their ornaments gifted annually. I now have the honor of placing the Hallmark train series we purchase (#24) for our son, on the tree. As I passed the new…
What I don’t know
I don’t know what the future holds but all I know is that there’s nothing you can’t do. I don’t know you’re planning for me. I don’t know how the next few months will unfold but I’m counting on you to give me the strength and patience I need to get through it. I don’t…
Seeds of thankfulness
In the Spring of 2013, I was lying on the floor stretching, when I spied a package peeking out from under a stack of movies. It was an unexpected supply of flower seeds. The packing slip inside revealed our oldest son had ordered them. I could not imagine what our 17 year old would need…
Prepare for the best
The last weekend of September, I was in church feeling overly agitated. The beautiful music, was muffled as crying children seemed to escalate everywhere. I kept thinking… maybe I’ve had too much coffee this morning! This was NOT normal. The next few moments I could barely keep my eyes open. It was NOT the sermon. …
High Five
Is this you? There are many times I don’t say anything or write—because I’m always afraid of saying the wrong thing and hurting more than helping. I know others have hurt you-when they did not realize it or were not trying to—I’m always aware as I’m sure I have done the same. Yet, you are…
A sisters heart ❤️
Five years this month is rough. We aren’t the same people we were before loss. It’s all about being grateful, finding beauty, by the grace of God, through faith. She was asked to write her favorite quote. She wrote down three and crossed off two. “Walk outside, look up, be happy” encompassed him and comforts…