I happened upon this letter written to Connor last February. I had forgotten about it and smiled as I read it. My heart breaks missing him. Who knew he would be gone so soon…I pray it may touch someone and give them hope.
February 24, 2014
I love you! I like you! You have always been my sunshine!
You amaze me with your funny, smart, driven ideas and personality!
I am thankful you give it your all when necessary.
You are kind hearted. When we asked about adopting our youngest two, I knew what your response would be. There was never a doubt.
Your brothers and sisters adore you, as they should.
You have always been my child upon the pedestal, first born. You still are. I know you may not think so, but this has always been the case.
The day you were born, my life changed for the best. You have been the light of my life, always smiling, laughing and joking.
You are a good friend to others, listening and giving advice.
I wish nothing more than for you to be happy and successful in your own heart.
I have always seen a kind hearted, smart, quick-witted leader in you. Due to this, I have pushed you harder than most. I felt you were up to it. I have always been your biggest cheerleader and still am. I believe you refer to this as overbearing. 🙂
When you were younger, you never spent time in “time-out”. You never needed time out. You thrived spending time with our family, making us all laugh. I know it is time for your wings to take you onto new places. I never expected this time to be so difficult for me. I am looking forward to you experiencing new adventures and building your own life. Please see your dad and I as support. We are doing our best to love and let go, praying that the values we taught you these past 18 years are deep in your heart. Someday I hope that you will find that parenting is the most important blessing you will have. Clearly, you have a bright future ahead of you.
I remember how stressful being a teen was. Many decisions on your future are being made this year that will lead to the course of your life. Remember that for every time you feel set back, there will be a leap forward in wisdom that guides your path to “your” success and security. Breathe deep and make positive intentional moves. Think all things through. It is the small stuff that matters. Always care.
You have a supportive family that loves you intensely. Your dad and I both admire your accomplishments and are amazed we have been given the gift of you. Never doubt this.
I have grown as a person by being your parent and I would not exchange that for anything. It has been a wonderful, awesome life that I thank God for everyday!